5 cities Donts

I hate going some place I don't know anything about. I'm just not a risky person. Before I land somewhere, I already read of the current political situation, basic history and, most important, food specs, tourist paths and trendy night spots. But few things you shouldn't do you learn by battlefield.

So here they are, five Donts:

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01.Istanbul & Budapest- try to avoid taxi drive. Both cities are notorious for the ripoffs made by cab drivers, and they have plenty of ways to take your bucks. Walking (you're there for watching, right?), using public transport, renting a car or asking hotel concierge to negotiate with the taxi company are the options. Jumping into the first car on the street is bad idea.

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02.Bangkok- visiting live sex show on your own. Bangkok has plenty of these ...ahem ...educational facilities, and there are grades in the quality of your degree. Tourists are usually going for the ones that are on major locations, well-lit with neon "LIVE SEX" signs. It's polished deco choreography for expensive drinks. Meh. Real stuff is illegal, very low-profile, with passwords as friendliest of security measures, if you know what I mean. Although might be difficult to find it without local know-all, don't search by yourself, do it in a crowd and with someone who knows tricks.

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03.Beijing- I'll be generous here and give you a double one: a) DO NOT enter hutong, if you don't know where you're going i.e. no one invited you there. You might end up as a ripoff victim, beaten up or a simple organs donor (which is not bad if voluntary)  b) DO NOT eat in suspicious pop-out restaurants that serve "exotic" animals. I won't discuss carnivore need here, but if you're sick enough to wanna taste dogs, cats, parrots and lizards, be prepared to know that some of them have cages with rats in their basement. And yes, live animals that you "choose" at entrance are for show only. Still hungry?



04.Jerusalem- For whatever reason you're there, DO NOT fall for the miraculous/historical souvenirs. Yes, I believe faith can sometimes do incredible things, but as someone who studied art forgery besides art history, I will tell you couple of things: the US$250 holy earth pendant was filled just last night with the dust brushed from the floor in that very shop, and the 7th century antique stone statue's production involved yogurt and feces last month. Miracles happen. Shit also.

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05. Barcelona- Touristy areas of BCN are full of shell game wizards from Romania and Bulgaria. While you think of small-scale solo scammers, let me tell you they usually work in groups of 5-10. While you watch the Master of the Ceremony, the rest of the pack is usually picking up your pocket, purses and backpacks for whatever might be sold later. Similarly, metro trains are full of similar "artistas" as well as streetwalkers on Las Ramblas will pickpocket you while trying to negotiate "provision of services".