Starsucks

Clover® Brewed Coffee Caffeine 415mg**

Coffee experience is a complete one. It takes quality ingredients, cosy surrounding, pleasant company and relaxed atmosphere. As someone who enjoys taste as much as atmosphere and social dimension, I find coffeeshop chains quite practical in moments when you need your caffeine boost. As someone who's deeply into bar culture, I sometimes tend to overcriticize them. Use of paper cups, polystyrene  and plastic cutlery may be practical, but I simply hate it, no matter what others think, snobbery or not.

This time I'll be just plain objective.





If there was a Starbucks hate-group, I wouldn't be in the board of directors. Let's be honest, what they call coffee is a watery, smelly colored liquid with acidic over-roasted taste. Way too often, their "coffee" comes-in last in blind taste tests. The bullshit named "Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino® Blended Crème"  or "Chestnut Praline Latte" has taste, yes. But, who on Earth would seriously order it, knowing it is a blend of artificial flavors and tastes? Strawberries and chestnut my ass. "Pumpkin Space Latte" one of the most popular products, is rich in healthy nutrients like sugar and colorants, and, luckily, has no trace of real pumpkin. Read here what's REALLY inside.

The interior design of post-industrial employee cafeteria only underlines the general concept of late-capitalism: you spend to enjoy the rags, so we can enjoy the riches. Back in the late '80s when it flourished, it was cool, of course it was, bringing the fresh, new idea into the scene. I remember the first time I entered one, the first thing that dropped my mind was "This is so furious Billy Idol". Twenty five years later it is "This is so tired Britney Spears". Fun fact: Starbucks has round tables in their coffee shops to make solo coffee drinkers feel less alone.

A damaged front window of a Starbucks coffee shop in Toronto

It simply became McDonald's and Dunkin' Donuts sort of faceless chains of uniformed tasteless meals and drinks. Along with other big corporate ideas, it brought some really terrible concepts:  Venti is a serving measured 24 US fl oz (710 ml). Now, who the hell drinks THAT cup of coffee with 415 mg of caffeine ? Trenta is a serving measured 31 US fl oz (920 ml). Luckily, only healthy drinks like sodas (rich in sodium and sugar) are served in it. In case you still don't get it, here's a picture: average adult needs ~2000 calories a day, and Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino® Blended Crème easily hits 540. If you add Old-Fashioned Glazed Doughnut with 480, you're in coffee-break trouble.

I hate being a boner killer, but I think it is better option to enjoy your cup at some small-scale bar with the friendly barrista and a comfy sofa. In Italy, having café at the bar has different meaning and price from the one at the table. In France, it is an excuse for watching people and flirt. In Middle East, it is one of the most important social gathering institutions. In China, where consumption is still developing, I payed for cup more than anywhere else.

Or, in case you are a house rat, do it at your own place, in which case, instead of Starbucks packaged coffee you better use real stuff for espresso or instant.